A Fearless Surrender

A Fearless Surrender 1920 1280 RUSH Student Conference

Author: Cody Updegrave

A Fearless Surrender

Scripture Focus: Psalms 37:4, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

It took too long. Wayyyy too long. Especially for someone who grew up in church.

As a young teenager life was complicated. On one side was the everyday pull of peers who didn’t talk think or act like me. On the other, a constant call of conviction and what I knew to be right. I would love to say I did it all by the book. I would really love to say I’m proud of the way I handled those years. But I cant say either of those things.

I struggled. I struggled everyday. My conversation often matched the crowd I was around at the time. I felt the torment Paul faced when he said, “For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.” My true desire was to just be liked. And no matter what I did and no matter what I tried, it was like attempting to put a square piece into a triangle slot, it NEVER fit. I tried to sin but I was bad at it (seriously).

2006 was quite the year for me. As a sophomore in High School I felt the tug of God stronger than I ever had. Up to that point baseball was my life. Through some of the hardest days baseball was my way of pushing away the noise (good and bad). But that year even baseball became a burden. Coaches were constantly unhappy and Teammates made sure the young guy on the varsity squad didn’t have it easy. It felt like the floor was falling out from under me.

Through a dream God spoke to me that if I would lay down baseball He would give me the true desires of my heart. When I woke up from the dream I didn’t leap and shout. It broke me. I knew the only response to such a call was surrender.

Scripture says in Psalms 37:4, “Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”

The challenging part about this scripture is that delighting yourself in the Lord also means no longer delighting in things that are not the Lord, but when you can do that, the second part of the verse comes alive. He will give you the desires of your heart. What I didn’t realize as a sophomore I certainly know now, when God asks for something, He plans to replace it with something better.

Earlier today in my office I looked back on some journal entries I had made after my decision. It really is still one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. But as I sit here and type this I am flooded with reminders of what God has done since then. I have everything I wanted as a teenager; I am used by God to minister to young people everyday, I am married to the exact person God designed for me, I have two incredible boys, the list could go on for days. But most of all, I have real peace. There’s no more struggle between two very different lives. I am absolutely complete in Him. So yes it took too long… wayyy too long for me to realize what I was missing out on. But you have that chance now. How will you respond?

“Then Peter began to say unto him, Lo, we have left all, and have followed thee. And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.” (Mark 10:28-30).